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Monday, March 10, 2008
HAMBURGER TO GO
The Rolling Stones
c. 1969
[Unreleased]
RAW HAMBURGERS
Kool & The Gang
De-Lite : 1969
[Out of Print]
HAMBURGER
Philemon Wahbe
[? : ?]
Courtesy of WFMU
THE HAMBURGER SONG
Bobby Moore & The Rhythm Aces
Searching For My Love
Checker : 1966
Available on: Go Ahead and Burn: Soul Music from The Shoals to Chicago
RPM : 2004
[Buy It]
Anyone with opposable thumbs can tell you that Queens is the UNited State's internets' capital of international cuisine: We've got Chinese shit, Thai shit, Korean shit, Moroccan shit, Egyptian shit, Cuban shit, Columbian shit, Greek, Spanish, and Italian shit, Russian shit, Polish shit, Croatian shit, Mongolian shit, international cuisine from a weird, Asian region where Chinese people rub up against some Indian shit, and an Irish joint that serves the fuck out of some hamburgers. Out here, where the street meat tastes sweeter than whatever filet mignons you've been chewing on, life is still sweet.
LIFE IS STILL SWEET
White Hassle
Life is Still Sweet
Orange : 2000
[Buy It]
Sweet, but also sour, because I can't help the feeling that all these Chinese, Thai, Korean, Moroccan, Egyptian, Cuban, Columbian, Greek, Spanish, and Italian, Russian, Polish, Croatian, Mongolian, Chinese/Indian, and Irish joints are always about to close down. Pastey-ass people flocking to New York's outer boroughs don't like the ethnic flavor. They like hot dogs, milk shakes, holding hands, and taking Town Cars full of that Whole Foods back from Manhattan. I never understood why people from Indiana would move to New York, mate, move out to the outer boroughs, and commence to transform those same outer boroughs into looking exactly like the Indiana shit they just spent the first twenty-five years of their lives escaping. But then, the fat-assed Americans I see in Times Square come here all the way from Utah, Iowa, Alabama, just so they can max their Capital One credit cards out at Applebee's and the Gap. Next time someone crashes airplanes all into your shit and asks "think why we hate you?," kindly direct them to Utah, Iowa, Alabama.
TAKE A TRIP
Utah Smith
Checker : 1953
Available on: Slide Guitar Gospel 1944-1964
Document : 1995
[Buy It]
TONY GAVE A PICNIC
Ralph Sheckel
Iowa : c.1970
Available on Art of Field Recording vol. 1
Dust to Digital : 2007
[Buy It]
I'LL FLY AWAY
The Original 5 Blind Boys of Alabama
Available on: The Sermon
Specialty : 1993
[Buy It]
Still, people in the outer boroughs are holding their own. Last year, Moistfriends The iNTERNETS CELEBRITIES were seen all over the outer boroughs, singing the praises of ghetto big macs and bodega food pyramids. At some point, they began documenting their efforts on film:
 BODEGA
GHETTO BIG MAC
Now touring the festival circuit, Bodega was filmed across the street (and a million miles away from) Yankee Stadium. Needless to say, it's a must-see. And, made on a budget of dollar-and-change, Ghetto Big Mac - which tells you how to assemble your own Big Mac, which costs upwards of $3, for a dollar and change - is a film so influential that you can see its influence here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.
People, I ask you: is there, out there, a more influential group of internets celebrtities?
SHUT THE FUCK UP, JARED!
Don't answer yet! Because these guys - I don't know who the fuck they are - but these guys are setting the UNited States' internets on fire with documentary shorts like Shut The Fuck Up, Jared! and (the somewhat less successful) Whopper Freakout. Sure, we've seen South Park take aim at Jared-from-Subway, but South Park can't really compete with the many food-related incidents breaking out over the uS internets. Like the homages to "Ghetto Big Mac," posted above, a good number of these incidents involve intrepid whites who've ventured far outside their comfort zone to bring us glimpses of the real nitty-gritty. Our personal favorite? A micro-masterpiece called Goin' to McDonald's in the 'Hood.
THIS WHOLE FUNKY WORLD IS A GHETTO
Bobby Patterson
It's Just a Matter of Time
Paula : 1972
[Buy It]
Yes, white people are poppin' and lockin' all over all over town these days and, over on the internets, brothers and sisters are doin' it for themselves. Gentrification works both ways, you know - or at least, it did, c. 1975 or so. Either way, people, what is there, really, to complain about?
MOVIN' ON UP
Ja'Net DuBois & Oren Waters
c. 1975
Available on: All-Time Top 100 TV Themes
TVT : 2005
[Buy It]
MOVIN' ON UP
Robbin Thompson
The Vinyl Years
Out There : 2003
[Buy It]
MOVIN' ON UP
Born Against
The Rebel Sound of Shit & Failure
Vermiform : 1995
[Buy It]
MOVIN' ON UP
M'Lumbo
Sacrifices to the Neon Gods
Mulatta : 2006
[Buy It]Labels: alex, ghetto tourism
posted by Alex
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