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Wednesday, July 20, 2005
KING OF THE CARROT FLOWERS PART 1
Neutral Milk Hotel
In the Aeroplane Over the Sea
Merge : 1998
[Buy It]
PAULINE
The Minders
Hooray for Tuesday
spinART : 1998
[Buy It]
DIMES MAKE DOLLARS
The Lilys
The 3-Way
Sire : 1999
[Buy It]
I'm married, but recently a guy posted this on Craigslist: "When you were young you were the king of carrot flowers/And how you built a tower tumbling through the trees/In holy rattlesnakes which fell all round your feet."
I was having a hard time in my marriage. My husband had gone to LA for a month to "think about things." He was falling apart, I had no time for this. I wanted a baby. I wanted someone who loved me so much that his own problems ceased to matter. When my husband was gone, I went out with friends, drank, sometimes flirted, sometimes moved the ring. But mostly I spent many nights at my laptop with wine and cigarettes, thinking about what "for the rest of my life" and "thinking about things" meant. Sometimes that brought me to Craiglist, to Missed Connections, to see if someone was looking for me.
I love music, but sometime after the whole high school "I'm an outcast and I hate Black Flag but I want to go out with skaters so I'll pretend to like Youth of Today" thing, I got lost. I briefly came to my own a bit with Siouxsie, and then there was the Pavement phase of college where everyone around me had gone through what I'd been through. But then I was in real life, without roommates, without boys from bands sleeping on my couch, and I got lost again. In 1998 I realized there had been a void. I like the Beatles, I said. I like melodies. Come on. All that fucking Sonic Youth was just a put on. Except, maybe, Sister. So they started recommending these bands. "They" meaning my friend at a record store called Rocks in Your Head. Unbelievably, the store is still in business, sitting among all the SoHo-ish-ness - Aveda, Dolce and Gabbana, and eurotrash bistros - selling records. A friend - a rich one - wanted to buy it, way back then in 1998. But there was nothing to buy - they were renting, and we gave up on the project.
I saw that post, lyrics by one of those Rocks-in-your-Head-bands, and thought about how, just at that moment, I wanted someone who was thinking exactly what I was thinking. And I responded. I actually wrote to him. But not before creating a new, slightly fake, email address: "You got me," I wrote. "But then I don't know who you were looking for."
He wrote back:
So....
Me: 26, smart, athletic, 5'11", blue eyes, and brown hair.
I was born in England but grew up in Austin, Texas. Studied English and
History in undergrad and just graduated from acting graduate school at Yale.
People are usually surprised to find out that that is what I do though.
I'm definitely the artsy, indie type. Spend way too much time alone in
movie theatres. Love going to live shows and theatre and music. Love going
for walks in Central Park, getting hot apple cider and watching the dogs run
around Union Square. Eating breakfast out on the weekends. Museums. You
know, all the cliche stuff.
I loved yoga and danciing, and & hhave to go out dancing at least once a
month. I'm in great shape, but not the beefcake type, sorry. I write a lot
and read a lot.
I'm the kind of guy that can stay in with wine and movies, but could just as
easily stay out at the bar until four in the monring. i'm adaptable like
that.
I often don't feel like I belong in the city. People seem closed off and
very selfish here, and I've hadd trouble meeting people with similar
interests and values. I got totally played by someone a few months ago, and
never saw it coming. I guess I haven't been beaten down by life to the
point of others yet.
What else? Here's a picture. My friends say I look better in person, but
they are probably just being nice because they are my friends.
Hope to hear more about you.
R
And here's my response:
R,
You're adorable and you sound great. And I'm an editor and a writer, so I of course love the mention of reading and writing and the photo of you with a book...
I just have to tell you some things. First, I might be too old for you. I'm 31. I know your age was revealed on craiglist initially but I was so drawn in by my love for the band that I didn't register it. And, this is more significant, I'm not prepared to think about a relationship (for a variety of serious reasons that I'd tell you if we do ever meet). When I responded to your post (not something I've ever ever done before) I was more swept up in the romance of the song and wasn't totally thinking straight. But.
Would it be weird to say that we should meet up for a drink and think of it as a way to meet a new friend? If you want someone who's 100% or even 80% focused on looking for a relationship, then I'm absolutely not your person. But it is possible that we have some things in common and could talk, have a fun drink--I don't know. If you're open to a new friend let me know.
I'm not sending a photo right now, as I think it might be too online-dating-ish for me right now. I am cute and a real person and quite interesting, I think. But I'm sorry to be confusing and not ready for what you were looking for.
But but.
J
He never wrote back.
-by Joanna YasLabels: indie, joanna, marriage
posted by Alex
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